Parsing Leads

I chose to look at three articles from Boston-area news organizations about former Chelsea Housing Authority chief Michael McLaughlin. The articles cover McLaughlin's court case as he is expected to plead guilty to the falsification of documents that hid his inflated salary from officials from 2008 to 2001. The three articles I looked at are from the Boston Herald, the Boston Globe's Boston.com and the Lowell Sun.

Since this is a hard news story, each article had a summary news lead. I think this was the best and most effective option because it introduces the reader right away to the gravity of the story and also makes it easier to understand the legal component. While each organization used the same lead style, there are variations that separate them.

Sarah Favot from the Lowell Sun said,

"Former Chelsea Housing Authority executive director and Dracut resident Michael McLaughlin has agreed to plead guilty to federal charges of falsifying documents hiding his inflated salary from state and federal officials, according to an agreement filed in federal court Friday." 

Favot does a good job highlighted the main point of the story and emphasizing the local impact (the Lowell Sun covers Dracut), but this lead is a bit wordy. It it a long sentence packed with details that makes me feel that if I were reading it out loud, I'd want to do it on one fluid motion, but would run out of breath before I got to the end.

The Globe staff report from Andrea Estes, Sean Murphy and Martin Finucane said,

"Former Chelsea Housing Authority chief Michael E. McLaughlin has agreed to plead guilty to four federal charges of deliberately concealing his huge salary from state and federal regulators from 2008 until he resigned in 2011, according to an agreement filed in federal court today."

I like this lead because it puts the issue into simple and concise terminology, making it very easy to quickly understand what the article is about. The tone is more conversational than Favot's and also uses stronger wording such as "deliberately concealing" and "huge salary." This lead makes me feel like the reporter(s) are talking to me, not at me.

Finally, Chris Cassidy from the Boston Herald said,

"Disgraced former Chelsea Housing Authority director Michael McLaughlin pleaded guilty today to charges he hid his inflated salary from 2008 to 2011 in a plea deal with federal prosecutors."

This lead it a bit different since the report came after the decision was made, but still shows the same lead style. I really like the simplicity of this lead, basically keeping it to the bare bones of the issue. Colorful language is used immediately with the word "disgraced" and continues in a short sentence effectively summing up the issue. One issue I have is the wording "...pleaded guilty to charges he hid..." This sounds awkward. I would change it to "...pleaded guilty today to charges that he hid..."

It was interesting to put these three leads next to each other and see what works and what doesn't and also what styles and techniques I prefer. After looking at them, I think simplicity in the lead is most important for a story of this nature. The story is about a public official that did something wrong, so naturally the headline alone is going to spark interest from readers. Because of this, laying out the gist of the story right away, then delving deeper into the details, seems most effective to me.